Four years ago today, we finally got to bring our baby home after spending nearly five months in hospital. In honour of the occasion I thought I’d share a little bit about our journey and why the work LAMBS does is so important.
Jessica was born at 25+2 weeks gestation, almost four months early. She was extremely poorly and there were many times throughout our neonatal journey when we didn’t think she would make it. We were transferred five times between three hospitals and often felt very desperate and alone.
Before her birth I’d thought about how our last Christmas just the two of us would be, and how at new year we’d be able to say “we’re going to be a mummy and daddy this year!” I’d bought a ‘Santa Baby’ maternity top ready to show off my big bump and was excited to think that the following year we’d have an 11month old eager to explore the presents under the tree. Never did it cross my mind that this Christmas would be our first as parents, and that on Christmas Day we’d be sat by our poorly baby’s cot side instead of tucking into a Christmas dinner and opening gifts with our family. My only bump was from eating microwave meals for three months and my t-shirt was never worn. I didn’t think on New Year’s Eve we’d be sat in a darkened hospital room, whispering to each other so as not to wake the other babies, tears silently rolling down my cheeks. By my February birthday I thought I’d be one month into motherhood, exhausted but excited to be getting a card saying ‘To my Mummy’ and tucking into birthday cake with my little bundle of joy in my arms. Instead I spent my birthday in the neonatal unit, far from home, caring for my still very poorly four month old baby. The next date on the calendar was Mother’s Day and the thought of that being another event spent in hospital was heart-breaking. Thankfully we made it home just in time!
None of these special occasions were spent how we expected. It’s hard to celebrate when you’re feeling so scared for your child and you’re far from home, in a clinical environment. But each of these days brought with them some surprise gifts from strangers. In those moments, no matter how small the gift was or how sad I felt, my smile spread from ear to ear. They were such simple things, but it wasn’t the contents of the bag that mattered, it was the realisation that we weren’t alone. The knowledge that people had been where we were now, they knew how tough it was to be there, especially on these occasions when all your dreams have been shattered, and they were thinking of us! And that feeling is what the LAMBS gift packs are all about.
So thank you to everyone who has donated already, you’ve made it possible to gift a smile to those who really need it. To anyone wondering if it’s worth donating to the cause, yes it absolutely is! I cherish each and every one of those gifts and cards that we received during our stay and I am so grateful to be able to give something back.
Jo Vickers – Trustee
